Well hello there folks. So you can tell by the title of this post that either my online dating was a disaster or I got bored. I am ashamed to say it was the latter. There was viewing of my profile but no contact. I did make contact with a few guys and one did come back with all 'the chat' but I realise he is a serial responder!! So after about two weeks, I got bored. I have to tell you it's a bit soul destroying for a fish! Well I was only dipping my toe in the 'pond' to test myself but I know it's something I have to do, unless I want to be writing The Single Woman's 3,650-Day Blogging Challenge in my mid-late 40s.
So, what is this all about. Some of you may be aware of Mandy Hale, the original Single Woman. If you don't know her, whether single, dating, relationship, married, divorced or celibate, check her out. She's got some really great words of wisdom. Some may piss you off depending on where you are at, but you might just get something from some of it. I really like her ethos, her thought process and her words of wisdom, even if, despite myself, I don't always listen :-(
Anyway, enough about that, what's with the blogging challenge Nemo? Well Mandy has set a 30-Day blogging challenge, with questions to which you can answer and blog, one each day for 30 days. And now that I am 'freelancing with no current projects'/desperately seeking (near to) perfect employment' I thought this was exactly the time to take up this challenge. Some may be funny, some serious, but I'm trying to keep it light.
Now I will preposition this by saying I may sound a little bit angry or bitter in some answers, please be assured it's not directed at you (unless perhaps you're Sleazy PT, Guy Once Dated, Smug Married, Smug Mom...then perhaps I am a liiiiiiittle pissed with you but am getting over it). It is not my intention to insult (even those in brackets), so if you feel insulted, I apologise. This is not about anyone but me, so please don't take anything personally, laugh with me, please don't cry even with me, it'll be really awkward, and if you enjoy this or any of my blog, share, share, share :-) OK here goes:
Day 1, Question 1:
Your response to everyone’s favourite question: “And why are YOU still single?”
I'm always tempted to say "And why are YOU still married to HIM/HER?" when someone asks me this, but the psychoanalyst will use words such as "projecting issues" and I have neither the time nor inclination to argue that or even consider if they're right!
Oh I guess it's because I haven't met the right person yet. Fussy? Well no I don't think I'm fussy, I know what I like and what I don't like. Give him a chance? Well I give everyone a chance, but if they don't make an impact on me, well they don't make an impact. Words dead, flogging and horse come to mind.
I will certainly admit that in my younger years, I always felt I had time, that there was someone more interesting, better looking, successful, fun out there and so was always looking outside. Hmmm, guess that didn't quite work out.
Then there was the looooong period of my life where I tended to always go for someone who liked me, but was in some way unavailable. Was I slutty and sleeping around, "giving the wrong impression" as one friend referred to sleeping with someone too early in a relationship (please tell me, when is that?? I've heard of people who've married having slept with each other on date one, and someone else who was dumped for not putting out soon enough?!)
I know I would always give guys a chance to a certain point and as soon as it started to get serious, or I'd have to become any way vulnerable I'd back away or sabotage. Call it not wanting to get hurt, call it immaturity, but whatever you call it you can call it a waste of time.
So here I am in mid to late 30s, happy with my life, successful, fit and healthy, not bad looking, own teeth and hair (so much of own hair I'm getting much of it permanently removed!!), own home (albeit rented), own car (albeit 8 years old) and finally ready to meet someone and not only are there not many of those matched men out there, but there is not social scene to even meet them (utter the words 'join a club' at your peril!). So how did I find myself in this position? How did it happen so quickly? When did everyone else grow up and become "we"?
What I often want to say to people who ask that question is usually something along the lines of one or all of the following:
And why are you still married to him/her?
Because I'm really a thundering bitch that no one would dare spend a night with, never mind most of their spare time.
Because I'm the Messiah and I can't commit myself to one person, I'm here to save people, yes people like you.
Because I can't imagine saying "til death do us part" or having sex with just one person for the rest of my life...
Because I don't want to end up like you - bored, nosey and living my life through someone else.
Because I won't settle.
Because I'm emotionally fucked and don't know how to be happy.
And why are YOU still a nosey bitch?
But the real answer to "And why are YOU still single? is "I don't know..."
