Well hello there follower(s)...again I do believe I have one, perhaps two readers/followers but even so I love you, just the one/two of you! Anyway one way or the other I do apologise to you that I've been off the radar for so long. You see it has been a tough couple of months for me (this is where I get all serious). Nothing too major or dramatic or exciting or even scandalous, just found life a bit tough, hard to trudge through the days, hard to find a purpose, felt like was one of those merry-go-rounds that had to be pushed, except no one pushed it cos the playground was deserted. "Eh, join the club Nemo" I hear y'all say and yes you could be right, but you know this was something new for me, not being able to muster up the energy to be positive or funny or self deprecating or sarcastic or plain old schneery about The Tank and life, so I just said best that I hold off until maybe it lifted...

....Aaaaaaand I'm back! Lord Jaysus as they say, but thank God for "the New Year"...it really does bring with it hope, positivity, optimism and the general sense of resetting the clock to zero, forgetting the shite from the year gone by and embracing the new one with gusto...and indeed no where more than The Tank.

...But before I go into all that, let's talk about Christmas, New Year and resolutions. Christmas was a very nice affair chez Mom and Dad Nemo this year. Now it may come as a surprise to you that, well, Nemo n'aime pas la Noel...pas de tout en fait. That one day manages to compound all the feelings of failure, disappointment, resentment, regret and solitude into one 24 hour period. However this year I decided no! No, no, this year Nemo you will embrace the festive season, go to the Christmas parties, engage in the family games of charades, ho ho ho your way through Driving Home for Christmas, smile at your Prozac-induced parents like you're on the dhrug yourself, let the sniping go, top self up with gin from 11am right through and leave at the appropriate time back to your perceived haven that is your cold, lonely, rented apartment in the big shmoke.

And so this year it came to be that I did have a really lovely Christmas. All the Nemo-ites were in the homestead, the parents seemed to have reduced their Prozac intake (a little!) and we all got on quite nicely. I even let it slide when the little brother sniped at me such that I blushed and had a tear in my eye. But when another sibling produced their first born for the period and I retired to my flat in the parents' with its single bed, there was no getting away from the fact that I was approaching my late 30s, sleeping in a single room, in a single bed, as a single 30 something in my parents' house for Christmas...with nowhere else to go and no one else to play with. I asked myself "Is this it? Will I be the crazy aunt who'll be in Granny and Grandad's every Christmas? The crazy one who sits in the sun-room with a glass of gin permanently in her hand? The one with the big job in The Tank? The one who "never lets us down" and "always comes home" for Christmas? The one who would have been a great mother if she'd been lucky enough to find the right man? And I decided there and then that no I would not be. Or God damn it if I am, I sure as hell will have one heck of a story to go with it.  So peeps, this time next year I will not be a single woman, in a single bed, in a single room in her parents’ house. No. This year I am getting myself a boyfriend.

Now I have no idea how I'm going to do this, no idea who he will be, no idea where I will find him, no idea what he'll look like or what he'll do, but clearly he will be just about pretty dang right! I am getting ma-self-a-boyfriend! Fuck, if it was that easy I'd have just said this long ago, right?! Well anyway, I’ll worry about tactics in quarter two, we’re working on strategy for Q1. And I'm taking the first step. So if you know of any nice guys out there "fishing" (fishing, Nemo, geddit??!?!) for a fun, fit (finally!), talented (subjective), hot (subjective) gal, then let me know cos this year I'm gettin' meself a felleh!